What You Can Learn from Sarah Edwards

I love observing older women and learning how to act  from them (and how not to act!). I was recently chatting with another pastor’s wife and was thanking her for being such a good example to me. Her life is characterized by a walk that fears God: humility, kindness, goodness and a life free from evil speaking and malice of any sort.

Actions always speak louder than words.  Palladius, an early church historian , wrote to a friend these words:

“Words and syllables do not constitute teaching, for some teachers possess great words but live disreputable in the extreme.”

Sadly, many Christians know and profess all the right things, but live devilish lives.

So today, I want to share with you a glimpse into the character of Sarah Edwards,(1709-1758) wife of Jonathan Edwards. Her husband is the well-known preacher of the  Great Awakening and is famous for his sermon, “Sinner In The Hands of an Angry God.”

These are excerpts taken from the book Memoirs of Jonathan Edwards: 

On being a suitable helper to her husband:

She proved, also, an invaluable [support] to Mr. Edwards, in the duties of his profession, not only by her excellent example, but by her active efforts in doing good.

“She was,” says Dr. Hopkins, “eminent for her piety…religious conversation was her delight; and, as far as propriety permitted, she promoted it in all companies. Her religious conversation showed at once her clear comprehension of spiritual and divine things, and the deep impression which they had made upon her mind.”

It was not merely conversation about religion—about its truths, or duties, or its actual state—its doctrines or triumphs—or the character and conduct of its friends and ministers: it was religion itself;—that supreme love to God, to his kingdom and his glory, which, abounding in the heart, flows forth spontaneously, in the daily conversation and the daily life.

Her thought life:

Her mind appeared to attend to spiritual and divine things constantly, on all occasions, and in every condition and business of life. Secret prayer was her uniform practice, and appeared to be the source of daily enjoyment.

Her words:

“She made it her rule to speak well of all, so far as she could with truth and justice to herself and others. She was not wont to dwell with delight on the imperfections and failings of any; and when she heard persons speaking ill of others, she would say what she thought she could with truth and justice in their excuse, or divert the obloquy, by mentioning those things that were commend-able in them. Thus she was tender of every one’s character, even of those who injured and spoke evil of her; and carefully guarded against the too common vice of evil speaking and backbiting.”

Treatment of those who mistreated her:

She could bear injuries and reproach with great calmness, without any disposition to render evil for evil; but, on the contrary, was ready to pity and forgive those who appeared to be her enemies.”

How she dealt with her children:

She had an excellent way of governing her children: she knew how to make them regard and obey her cheerfully, without loud angry words, much less, heavy blows. She seldom punished them; and in speaking to them used gentle and pleasant words.

 If any correction was necessary, she did not administer it in a passion; and when she had occasion to reprove and rebuke, she would do it in few words and with all calmness and gentleness of mind.

In her directions and reproofs in matters of importance, she would address herself to the reason of her children, that they might not only know her inclination and will, but at the same time be convinced of the reasonableness of it. She had need to speak but once; she was cheerfully obeyed; murmuring and answering again were not known among them.

Her system of discipline was begun at a very early age, and it was her rule to resist the first, as well as every subsequent, exhibition of temper or disobedience in the child, however young, until its will was brought into submission to the will of its parents; wisely reflecting, that until a child will obey his parents, he can never be brought to obey God.

Letter to her daughter three days after the death of her husband, Jonathan, showing her trust in God.

“My very dear child,

What shall I say? A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. O that we may kiss the rod, and lay our hands on our mouths! The Lord has done it. He has made me adore his goodness, that we had him so long. But my God lives: and he has my heart. O what a legacy my husband, and your father, has left us! We are all given to God; and there I am, and love to be.

Your ever affectionate mother,

SARAH EDWARDS”

Sarah’s marriage was anything but perfect. Her husband had severe bouts of depression, and they lived in a time of civil unrest and spiritual warfare. Although they had their “highs” in life, they survived their “lows” by anchoring their soul on the only ONE who never changes, and who is always faithful. Sarah kept her home pleasant. She was known to walk through town singing and humming quietly to herself and had the testimony of being a joyful Christian. Adjectives used for her in the memoirs included: joyful, pious, godly, holy, appropriate, kind.

I am thankful that I can read her testimony ALL these years later and still be blessed by her good life. That tells me that MY life and my testimony, if lived in a way that pleases God, can also be an encouragement for women who follow after me.

But lives lived like Sarah’s do not just happen. They require a desire for the Holy One. They are focused and  God-fearing. Not easily distracted.

 May God give us the grace to follow Him as we should.

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Hospital-ity

When you think about hospitality, don’t think entertaining. Don’t think about impressing or killing yourself making a five course meal.

Think hospital. Think healing. Think soul care.

Every day we cross paths with people who simply need kindness. And yet, kindness is so very rare in our rush-about, fast paced, production oriented culture. We are “producers”, and caring takes time, which slows.us. down.and.hinders.production.

Our husbands need a safe place. A kind word from a kind wife. Our kids need our time and attention. A look in the eye that shows that we are listening and really care.  And that lady at church–the one with all the little kids who always looks exhausted–she needs to hear that she is doing a good job, and that her life matters. She needs someone to care for her exhausted body and mind.

When you open your heart and home to others by caring–soul care, if you will– you are meeting a variety of needs–physical, emotional and spiritual. And like a skilled physician, you must decipher which is needed and then set about to administer the proper remedy.

Weary souls make their way to someone who loves enough to care. It is an inroad for the gospel.  It is amazing to think that the treatment for so many maladies can be had over a cup of warm tea, or a cold diet coke.

And, you never know the private pain that someone is enduring on the inside. My mother used to tell us that sometimes people are smiling on the outside, but on the inside, they might be crying.

I love this example of hospitality lived out in the life of Sarah Edwards, wife of the famous preacher, Jonathan Edwards, of the Great Awakening:

Familiar from childhood with the rules of decorum and good breeding, affable and easy in her manners, and governed by the feelings of liberality and benevolence, she [Sarah] was remarkable for her kindness to her friends, and to the visitants who resorted to Mr. Edwards;

sparing no pains to make them welcome, and to provide for their convenience and comfort. She was also peculiarly kind to strangers who came to her house. By her sweet and winning manners and ready conversation, she soon became acquainted with them, and brought them to feel acquainted with herself; and showed such concern for their comfort, and so kindly offered what she thought they needed, that while her friendly attentions discovered at once that she knew the feelings of a stranger, they also made their way directly to his heart, and gaining his confidence, led him im-mediately to feel as if he were at home, in the midst of near and affectionate friends.  Memoirs of Jonathan Edwards, pg. 71

Like Sarah Edwards, we must win the heart to be effective for Christ.

We can’t be a “love on Sunday” kinda Christian. We need to go about doing good seven days a week, starting in our own home.

Linked to Darlene at Time Warp Wife and The Better Mom (as in, I want to be a better mom. ) and Courtney

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Simplify

Simplify, simplify, simplify.  We all want the secret to making life simpler, easier, less frantic and more peaceful.

Most of us are busy and need to occasionally cut the “good” things out of our schedule to make room for the “best.”  If you are anything like me, I have to choose on a weekly basis what needs to stay and what needs to go. (actually, I write this all down according to our family priorities. I wrote about that here)

But one thing that can never be cut is our devotional life. Not just reading your Bible. That is not the heart behind “devotions”. But seeking God, so that you can know Him and He can teach you. It is not about a check list. It is about a soul mate.

One of my favorite songs ever says:

Lord, life becomes more simple
When all I seek is You,
When walking in Your Spirit
Is all that I pursue,
When knowing You are with me
Is all the light I need,
When all my heart is hungry
For You to shape and lead.

Lord, life is filled with beauty
When I am filled with You,
When You, so kind and patient,
Have made me caring, too.
When I am free to love You
And look to You alone,
Then life has found its sunlight,
And hope has found its home.

Lord Jesus, Sun of Heaven,
Its temple and its light,
Life’s goal and its beginning,
Love’s length and depth and height;
Lord, teach my heart to listen
And rest in simple truth,
To know life’s sweetest pleasure:
To know and worship You.

(Words by Ken Bible)

And you know what? Life is more simple when we are content in Christ.

 

Linked To Courtney

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What Do These Five Things Have In Common?

Today we have my friend Elizabeth from Dogfur and Dandelions guest posting. I told you about Elizabeth, her long term illness and  her ministry to women a few weeks back, remember?  I was so blessed by this piece! Enjoy!!

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Fear. Worry. Discouragement. Frustration. Self-Pity.

They all have something in common. They all consume our minds.

What’s more, we let them consume our minds. We choose to dwell on those negative thoughts or feelings. We ignore the little blessings in favor of focusing on the bigger problems.

And once we start dwelling there, the rest of life starts tumbling downhill far too quickly. Our eyes start looking through me-first colored lenses. Our ears listen to the music of dissatisfaction and unbelief. Our emotions go haywire, and our attitudes boil over like an unattended pot of self-absorption.

We all have those moments every single day of our lives – maybe when your spouse is late coming home, when that crazy storm hovers right.over.YOUR.house, when your body does something it isn’t supposed to, when your money goes out more quickly than it came in…

Those are the moments when we must choose whether to look through the lenses of today or the lenses of eternity. When we must choose whether to listen to our flesh or our heavenly Spirit. It’s an active choice. We don’t worry (or fear, or get frustrated, or throw a self-pity party) because “that’s just the way I am” or because “that’s the way I was raised.” We worry because we have actively chosen to do so.

First, we choose to ignore God’s promises.

“…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

We could have overwhelming peace instead of worry or fear. We could be filled with His joy instead our discouragement and self-pity. It is our choice. But we must act in order to receive. We cannot find this peace by ignoring God or ignoring the worrisome situations, hoping they’ll just go away on their own. No, rather, we must pray!

Sure, He already knows the end of each situation; He planned out all our days before we were even thought of. But He promises us that through the humble action of prayer, through relinquishing our illusions of control over to Him and begging for His help and direction, through being thankful for everything He sends our way, He will give us indescribable peace! And how often we forfeit that peace and bear unnecessary pain simply because we choose to ignore this promise. We choose to meditate on our trouble-filled thoughts instead of bringing our requests to God and exchanging our turmoil for His calm.

Second, we choose to ignore God’s commands.

We allow our minds and hearts to overwhelm us with negativity because we have chosen to disobey God in how we think:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Could it be any more specific? This is what we should be focusing on and reminding ourselves of over and over! Not those things that are untrue, those what-if’s, those worst case scenarios. We must actively choose to displace our negative thoughts with truth. And not merely whatever is true in your specific situation, but the truths of Scripture. His Word is all of these things: time-tested truth, honorable motives, just commands, pure teachings, lovely promises, commendable actions, excellent examples, and praise-worthy meditations.

So choose peace over unrest. Choose to pray, to be thankful. Choose to banish those thoughts of worry, fear, and discouragement, and welcome thoughts of time-tested truth. Choose to meditate on eternal truth instead of agonizing over temporary disquiet.

Bio: Elizabeth came to know Christ as her Savior at a young age, due to the influence of a Christ-centered home and church in Plymouth, MA. After graduating from college, she was diagnosed with a rare long-term illness, which God has used to noticeably shape her life and ministry.  She and her husband, James, currently live near Spartanburg, SC, where he is preparing to serve as a Chaplain in the Army National Guard. In addition to caring for husband and home, Elizabeth enjoys writing and scrapbooking, hiking the mountains, and drinking lots of coffee. Elizabeth blogs here at Dogfur and Dandelions. Stop by and say hello!

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We Are All Stinky Sheep

Today, I am excited to have my friend Crystal Joos guest posting. I had the opportunity to sit down and talk with Crystal a few weeks back while we were on vacation, and we had an enjoyable chat about children, homeschooling, and ministry. I know you’ll be blessed!

Crystal and her husband Taigen

The twins

 

Stinky Sheep

This past week our children attended the Vacation Bible School that our church was hosting. It was a busy but wonderful week. During the closing assembly one day, I noticed that my daughter looked like she had been crying. I probed her about it when we got home and it came out that she had been struggling in her heart towards another child who was visiting that week. Apparently over the course of the first few days his actions had frustrated her. As I talked with her, trying to guide her in thinking biblically, she asked me, “What do you do with someone like that?”

We’re All Just Stinky Sheep

My husband and I weren’t in the ministry very long when we heard a quote that really helped us in how we look at people. Some wise person said, “If you don’t like the smell of sheep, then don’t become a shepherd.”  It was a good sound-bite for us to tuck away, but from that we came up with a phrase that we would often say to each other as a helpful reminder: “We’re all just stinky sheep.”

God’s Word compares us often to stinky sheep. Isaiah 53:6a is probably the most familiar of examples, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way.” Jeremiah 50:6 says that we are all “lost sheep.” I Peter 2:25a states, “For ye were as sheep going astray.” I don’t know about you, but it’s easy for me to call someone else a stinky sheep.  However, if I take another look at these passages, I see words like “all” or “everyone.” Those are all-inclusive words. I am not exempt.

Don’t Look Further Than the Mirror

When I am dealing with a particularly frustrating person, it is always good for me to take the mirror of God’s Word (James 1:22-25) and remind myself of my own “stinkiness.”  Do I really think I am less frustrating or irritating than someone else? Am I suddenly perfect? Romans 12: 3 says, “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think [of himself] more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.” No doubt, at different points in my life there have been people who have put up with my own fleshly stench.  And yet, they have been longsuffering, as Christ commanded in Ephesians 4:2, “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love.” There is a reason why Jesus Christ is my Good Shepherd. It’s because I, myself, am a stinky sheep. I need Him now more than ever.

Sheep Need the Shepherd’s Guidance

While this helps me in dealing with my attitude towards others, I need to keep in mind that God is holy. My husband and I often tell our children that we love them too much to let them continue in sin. Just because we have two “stinky sheep” in our house (or maybe I should say four) doesn’t mean we let them continue pursuing sinful things just because we are sinful too (Rom. 6:1-2). There are times for confrontations. Those times happen often in ministry too, and are never easy. We are to be gently but firmly pointing others to God’s Word, and guiding them toward Christlikeness. Remember, Christ Himself was moved with compassion and began to teach the people (Mk.6:34) who were like sheep without a shepherd.

God has been ever so gracious to me.  I have failed Him so many times and yet He is always ready and willing to forgive. While it’s never easy to work with certain frustrating people that come along our path in life, what I reminded my daughter of this past week is something I need to remind myself of often: “Be patient. Be loving. After all, we’re ALL just stinky sheep in need of the help of the Good Shepherd.”

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Crystal Joos  grew up out west in Longmont, Colorado. She trusted Christ in junior  high school and acknowledged Him as her Lord and Savior. She and her husband Taigen have been in the ministry for eleven years in New England. They  co-labored with Ken & Judy Endean at Cornerstone Baptist Church in Scarborough, ME for seven years and have been serving at Heritage Baptist Church in Dover, NH for four. Crystal is a stay at home, home schooling mother to their seven year old twins, Marshall and Shaylen. She loves participating in the  church music program and ladies’ ministries. Her hobbies include listening to sacred and classical music, reading good books, crafting … all while drinking a good cup of coffee.

You can visit their church website  here: www.hbcdover.com

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“New Apps”: New Appropriates for Women

Sarah Hudson is guest posting today. She is an “IRL” friend (in real life),  a missionary wife and fellow home schooling mother. (She is also one of the most hospitable people I know, and I am always amazed at how she serves others through hospitality.)

When the kids were little, we approached the topic of modesty with the term “appropriate.“  What a child wears to climb a tree would certainly be different from what she would wear to church on Sunday.  The difference is not mandated merely by “right” and “wrong” attire, but also by an over-riding principle of appropriateness.  Certainly, there are times that clothing choices could bump into the walls of “right” and “wrong,” but for the most part, our battles fell under the broader lines of appropriate dress.

As I have matured in my parenting and my personal walk with God, I have realized how much of our communication also falls into this description of appropriateness.  Certainly, God instructs us about “right” and “wrong” speech.  However, for the most part, our battles fall into the broader lines of appropriateness.

In my simplistic rather non-techy mind, I categorize speech patterns as “New Apps” for women of wisdom.   These are the new appropriates that direct our speech.

First, we must clarify that the Bible itself warns that no person can tame the tongue.  “It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8)  We can never meet God’s standards of appropriate speech through our self-determined efforts.  Only through the righteousness of Christ are we able to use our tongues in a Christ-pleasing, appropriate way.  He stands willing to forgive and also to enable us to have speech that is a life-giving well from those who draw from it (Prov.  10:11).

New Apps

As a mom, the tendency of my everyday speech is corrective, corrective, corrective.  I notice various areas in my children’s character that need change.  I am often magnetic to “corrective” speech.  Perhaps I even take time to speak encouragement when a problem area is improved.  However, my speech is often so focused on problem solving that I neglect the caring, loving exchange that offers a reminder of the sweet relationship I share with my children.  I can train our golden retriever with instructive words and praise, but that does not mean that our hearts connect on a relational level.  I would simply have a well-trained dog.  I can treat my children as well-trained robots, but miss the relationship because of my focus on law and behavior.  How different this is from the way my heavenly Father speaks to me.  He gently instructs my heart regarding change, but He speaks peace and love and security to me.  Appropriate speech is not merely focused on correction, but on a loving relationship.  This “new app” includes kindness, edification, gratitude and love (Eph. 4:29, 32; Prov. 15:4; Eph. 4:15)

My kids enjoy the iphone game app called “Angry Birds.”  Perhaps on a phone, this is great fun.  However, this is not an app that I recommend as part of our Christian speech.  It is not purely what we say, but when and how we say it, that marks appropriate and wise communication. 

When do we speak the truth in love—-in an angry moment? 

How do we speak the truth—-in sarcasm?  

About a year ago, our family got a good laugh about the blond who went into a library and ordered a large fry and a cheeseburger.  When the librarian told her in a hushed voice that it was a library, she merely repeated her order in a whisper.  As women of wisdom, we must not only apply the appropriate “what” of our speech, but also the appropriate “how.” 

• Sometimes we err quite easily on the “TMI” (too much information) side.
• Sometimes we allow creeping overtones of bitterness or disappointment to crowd out edification.
• Sometimes we speak with condemnation instead of grace.
• Sometimes we succumb to the temptation to post proud comments on Facebook or cutting comments via texting.
• Sometimes we sidestep clear Biblical instruction to be thankful and rejoice because we feel that we are the exception in our stressful circumstances (Phil. 4:4, 1 Thess. 5:16-18).

As people consider my speech, I hope I am known for my apps.

May I be known as a woman:

• apt to encourage,
• apt to praise the Lord,
• apt to give thanks, and
• apt to share the gospel.

May my speech be marked by appropriateness in correction and in confrontation.   The woman of wisdom will be equipped with “new apps” that may not make new connections on her cell phone, but will hopefully connect beautifully with those her life may touch.

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Sarah grew up in rural Ohio, where her family came to know Christ as Savior.  She and her husband Todd have served in Christian ministry in Des Moines, Iowa; Cameroon, West Africa; and Concord, NH.  They have spent the last 14 years planting a Bible church in Vienna, Austria.  Sarah invests her time home-schooling her 4 children, as well as teaching ladies Bible studies and children’s ministry.

Linked to Courtney

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You Are Your Choices

A Wise Woman knows that her actions have consequences.

photo credit

I grew up in an agricultural family, so I am familiar with the concept of sowing and reaping.

For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction.

Prov. 22:3  A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

Prov. 31:21  Tells us that the wise woman had no fear of winter, because she had planned ahead and “all of them are clothed in scarlet.”

I once heard someone say “We reap to the flesh, and then pray for crop failure.”

It doesn’t work that way.We will reap what we sow. The Bible tells us not deceive ourselves into thinking otherwise.

• For instance, neglecting to read and study your Bible and nurture  your spiritual growth will surely reap a harvest. Is it the harvest you are intending? Most likely it will be spiritual drought and instability.

• A mother who makes everything but church a priority is sowing a harvest. It is sending the message that we make an effort to spend time and energy on sports, art, ballet, music, friends and fun outings, but when it comes to getting to church on a Sunday, we can’t  be bothered.  Your harvest will be kids who don’t care about or value worship or the people of God.

• A mother who spends hours on the phone distracted, texting, facebooking, watching cable or anything else is sowing a harvest. Your kids are getting the leftovers of your attention and are not being intentionally trained and nurtured. You may find that along with your wasted years, your kids hearts have been captured by someone–anyone– who was interested in them. By the time you unplug, it is too late.

• Speaking harsh words to your kids and others, being a mom who “vents” until they feel better is sowing a harvest. You will reap loneliness and regret, as your children grow to keep you at an arms length distance until they can get away from you. It is also destroying those around you with your toxic words and lack of self control. In the end, you will find yourself alone with your selfishness.

Tough words, that require tough examination of our choices. Our choices determine the course of our life.

Are you deliberately taking an inventory of  your life today?

Look five years down the road. Where are your choices leading you?

“You are your choices.” ~ Seneca

 

Linked to Courtney

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Great Expectations?

Today we have  a guest post from my friend and Evangelist’s wife, Emily Washer.

Emily and her two sweet little guys

“Great Expectations?”

To-do lists always look most feasable in the morning, right? If you are like me, I begin planning my day before my husband and kids wake up. In the morning quietness, I feel like I can conquer the world, or at least clean my house from top to bottom. But then my husband wakes up and shares his plans for the day. My kids wake up and I am confronted with runny noses or a teething baby.

Taking another look at my list and then at my family, I quickly realize that some of the things won’t get done. By lunch time I look at my list again and realize a few more things won’t get done. By the time I go to bed at night, I look at my list and think, “What did I do today??” The “great expectations” I had set in the quietness of the morning lay buried underneath my unfinished to-do list.

Has this ever happened to you? I’m sure it has! This is just one example of failed expectations. It would be easy to make a quick list of all the times my expectations for the day, night, week…have been dashed. It is dissappointing, frustrating and discouraging to say the least. It is easy to ask God why things couldn’t just go as I planned them. Why? Because I am setting my heart on the way I think things should happen.

“My soul, wait thou only upon God: for my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:5

 Waiting on God–sitting quietly before Him–this verse paints a far different picture of what my response should be to disappointing circumstances or failed expectations. I must garner my expectations and place my hope in the unchangeable God.

“He only is my rock…I shall not be moved.” Psalm 62:6

So what should I do when circumstances don’t turn out exactly how I pictured them to go? How do I defeat the discouragement or frustration? By committing the circumstance to my God and waiting quietly before Him to see what He wants to do through me. I may think I have great expectations or aspirations for the day, but none are as great as what my Father has planned for me!

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Our two families together after a National Hoops Tournament

Emily blogs at   No Good Thing. Be sure to pop on over for a visit. I know you’ll be encouraged!

About Emily Washer: “I am the priveleged wife of the sweetest guy I know and the blessed mother of two happy, energetic little boys. I spend about 7 months out of the year on the road as we seek to reach teens across the country with the gospel. In my spare time I enjoy reading, bargin shopping, and playing the piano.”

Emily’s husband is a traveling Evangelist with National Hoops.Have you heard of them? Check out their website here.

Our church recently had National Hoops Ministries come and set up a basketball tournament for our community. We had many kids from the community who would never step inside our church, come to play basketball and then heard and respond to the gospel message.  If I remember correctly, around 20 people were saved. Peter and I highly recommend this ministry!

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A Wise Woman is Word-Filled

Brrrring.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Do you have a minute? I just wanted to pick your brain about something I’ve been struggling with.”

When someone calls you for help, do you counsel from the Word?

Are you prepared to answer life’s questions biblically?

We have already addressed knowing when it is appropriate to offer advice here. My friend, Anne, just wrote today about offering a listening ear and just being there. here

But when someone comes to you specifically for advice, are you tempted to meet their “felt needs” instead of lovingly telling them what scripture says?

I had a situation like this this past week. A friend called specifically for some advice, and after listening, I told  her what I would do according to what scripture teaches. She called me knowing that I would tell her truthfully what I thought.  These are the friendships that matter. Where each person is teachable and dependent on the other to “set her straight in love” if she thinks she is going to do something that dishonors the Lord.

How can you be a word- filled friend/parent/ mentor?

Here are five ways:

1. Spend lots of time in the Word. 

Read it every day. Morning and evening. Psalm 119 tells us that the psalmist valued God’s law so highly that he delighted in it, (16) sought it with his whole heart (10) and stored it up in his heart (11).

Have you ever seen or heard of the TV show “Hoarders?” These people are practically buried and smothered under the junk that they value. The psalmist, on the other hand “stores up” or “hoards” God’s word in his heart. Why? So that he will not sin.

He delights in God’s word. What is delightful to you? What captures your attention?

2. Read the whole Bible.

Your view of God will be distorted if you do not read all of  scripture. For instance, if you only read the Psalms and Proverbs, and some of your favorite NT books,  and never read  a book like Leviticus, you may miss out on the focus of this book, which is the holiness of God. Your view of God will then be skewed, not knowing that God does care about how we worship and live.

3. Meditate on the Word.

Reading is great, but if it doesn’t change your life, it really is useless.

We read to DO. Obedience is really not optional for a child of God. We are his servants, doing His will, yet we sometimes think that we can pick and choose what we feel like doing. Not so. Meditating on God’s word can be as simple as writing what you have learned on a 3X5 card and carrying it with you until you master it. Are you struggling with lashing out at others with your tongue? Write out a verse as reminder, and carry it with you until it changes you. It could be a week. It could be a month, or longer. But meditating cements it into your mind. God says ______ about my unruly tongue. I must agree with God, and change.

Spurgeon noticed this problem in his day as well. In a sermon discussing the need for meditation on scripture and not just mere reading he wrote:

“The eye glances but the mind never rests. The soul does not light upon the truth and stay there. It flits over the landscape as a bird might do, but it builds no nest there, and finds no rest for the sole of its foot.“

4. Read as if your life depends on it. It does. here

When trouble comes, you will stand or fall depending on how you view scripture.  It comes down to our obedience. Are we just casual  hearers? Or are we hearers and do-ers. Meaning, are we letting it go in one ear and out the other, or are we actually heeding it. Are we obedient? If not, why not?  John 14:15- If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

5. Memorize the Word.

Why? Because when you don’t know what to do, God’s word will ring through your memory guiding you. It will encourage you as you recall promise after promise given in scripture. It will correct your wrong thinking with the truth. When you are afraid, it will comfort you. When you are lonely, it will console you. The Psalmist memorized so that he would not sin against God.  He feared offending a holy God.

I used an object lesson last week in my teen girls class to help them learn to be word filled. Everyone’s favorite candy: m&m’s.

Yes, I brought in a big bag and held them up. I told them that each time they see or eat m&m’s they should think about these “m’s”

1. Memorize the passage.

2. Meditate on the passage.

3. Master the passage. Meaning meditate until it changes you.

Does this post seem just so basic? Sometimes the basics are what we really need.

What ways have you found helpful to fill your mind with God’s word?

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Linked to Courtney

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A Wise Woman Is Approachable

We are talking about ways to effectively mentor the next generation of younger women. Many of you said that one reason you would not seek counsel from an older woman was if she was unfriendly or unapproachable. You mentioned that you tend to  shy away from women who are moody because you “never know what you are getting into.” I totally agree.

This is why we need to be approachable and consistently so.

Approachability is a social grace that includes gentle, wise speech, a calm, peaceful, caring demeanor and the ability to make another feel at ease.

The opposite would be a harshness with dealing with others, critical or unwise use of the tongue, and a too -busy “whirlwind” personality that left others feeling exhausted and frazzled by your disorganized, frantic presence.

Three ways to seem Unapproachable.

1. Appear to be always busy.

We are all busy. We have more modern conveniences than women in any other time period and yet we are still busy.

Taking time to mentor is a sacrifice of love and time. And if you are a mom of little ones, you know that despite your best attempts at organizing your day and being efficient in your routines, the bottom line is that sometimes your kids just need you right now! So you drop your well laid out plans and just tend to the needs of that one.

Jesus teaches his followers to be careful not to allow crowds, packed schedules and busyness to get in the way of people who truly need help. They are what’s important. You’ll always have something that needs immediate urgent attention. That’s life! But ask God to give you discernment so that you don’t ignore sincere cries for help. Ask Him, “How would You want me to treat this person.” – Elizabeth George

Hebrews 4:16 tells us that  we should come boldly before to the throne of grace , that we might obtain mercy and find grace to help in our time of need. Our Lord is approachable. Even in Christ’s busy moments, he had time for the “one.” Remember when He was preaching to the crowd in a packed house, and just one more person wanted his help. So his friends tore into the roof and lowered the poor guy down for healing? Jesus, stopped and healed this man.

2. Be Moody

If you have ever had a moody person in your life, you know that the safest recourse is the old “quick wave and “hello,” and keep on walking”, because you really don’t have the time to deal with that kind of drama, nor do you want to hear an earful about their latest bee’s nest with someone else. You really don’t have time to decipher whether they are in a good mood or bad today, and after long dealings with a moody person, unfortunately you no longer care to know which mode they are in. You have bigger things to do.

When my kids were little, I would tell them that there are two kinds of people in the world: A “Here I Am” person or a “There You Are” person. The first is self centered; the second is others focused. A moody person cannot “see past the end of their own nose,” as my father use to say.

If people never know how you’ll be from day to day, they will not bother to get close to you. It is safer to be casual acquaintances.

On the other hand, a woman with a peaceful spirit, a contented and happy demeanor, and a predictably kind reputation makes a woman approachable.

 3. Keep an arms length distance from people of different races, economic classes or physical abilities.

Do people of all races, classes and economic backgrounds know that you will be kind and loving to them if they approach you?

Look around at your list of friends and see how diverse it is. Do you make those with physical handicaps feel welcome? Do you treat the rich differently than you treat the poor?

I have to tell you that I have never experienced discrimination in my whole life. It is hard to imagine that it does exists if you have never felt it’s pain. I have witnessed it, though, because of some of my friends.  My son’s best friend is black. When I take them out and about, people DO look at and treat his friend differently. Some of my best friends are black. We have handicapped friends and family. And we are intimately acquainted with the poor. I hope we judge people based on their character and not on their physical appearance.

We see many examples in scripture of Christ loving, talking to and touching the social outcasts of his day. He even touched a leper to heal him, an act that shows his compassion. He could have spoken the leprosy away. But perhaps that leper had been treated like a trash because of his disease and Jesus knew that his touch would not only heal his body but a part of his soul.

Words like “Come unto me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest,” show the approachability and willingness to help anyone attitude of Christ.

What other qualities make women seem approachable to you?

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